♪ (You are beautiful) ♪ unless you’re one
of these ugly animals. Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Good Mythical Morning!
– You know, in this world, it can be… …tough to get people to agree
on anything. – Yeah.
– But today we are hoping against hope… …that we are going to be able to agree
on what is the ugliest animal in the… – …world!
– Because that matters. It matters… …so much that we’re gonna do something
a little bit different today. – It’s time to get ranked!
– ♪ (distorted guitar) ♪ – (crash)
– As you can see, we have a… …board here behind us with five slots
wherein we are going to rank officially – and forever the ugliest animals on Earth.
– And each Mythical Crew member will… …be presenting their animal, and as
they do that, we will put their animal in the spot of consideration, starting
with Stevie! – (Link) Ugh! That’s an ugly thing.
– That is the star-nosed mole. – I’ve heard of it.
– Here’s the kicker. That is the… …front end.
– (Rhett laughing) Thanks for clarifying. (Stevie) That’s what we’re
looking at right now. – Okay. That is a face.
– (Stevie) It looks to me like… – ‘Cause it does look like the exit.
– Yeah. It looks like something is… – …blown through the exit…
– (Link) Ooh! – …like, on a quick way out.
– Been there. – (crew laughing)
– Like lack of fiber. – (laughing)
– That’s actually what star-nosed… – …means.
– (laughing) Okay. – I got star-nosed last night.
– but it kind of looks like one of… …those B horror movie, like,
scary characters… – (Rhett) Yep.
– …or if a rat really liked to… …consume children but the children were
like, “Nooo!” and they just stuck… – …their hands out.
– Oh. Baby fingers. – (laughing)
– (Stevie) Yeah, baby fingers. Yeah, it could definitely be the mascot
for the fiber industry. – (Stevie laughing)
– “Don’t let this happen to you.” – It’s like on cereal boxes.
– Does he even have eyes? – It’s blind. Those little finger things…
– How do you know it’s a he? – …make it feel around.
– (Rhett) That could be a woman. But I think it has eyes that don’t work.
But you can’t really see them. (Rhett) That is nasty. I wouldn’t want
that for a face. That’s definitely… – …ugly. I think it’s ugly.
– At least the hands are pretty. (Rhett) Okay, so I’m gonna put this one
at spot 3, just because I don’t know what else is coming, you know? This is about
as ugly of a thing as I can think of… – …right now, but it’s the only one.
– It can move either way. We remain in our unbiased positions as
we field the next presenter who is… – Chase!
– Yep, that’s me. – (Link) Okay, Chase.
– That’s not me. – Hey, Chase. This isn’t you.
– (crew offscreen laughing) – (Chase) No, that’s the proboscis monkey.
– (Link) Oh! – (Chase) Proboscis means like, “big nose.”
– I see he has a big nose. Yeah, you can see he’s got a
(laughing) real big nose. And a red face, too. Kind of looks like,
I don’t know, Gerard Depardieu had… – a shellfish reaction or something.
– (Everyone on and offscreen laughing) – Which could happen.
– Poor guy. So the males have those huge noses,
which they use… – What’s it for, though?
– Only the males have ’em? – Mhm. It’s used for two things. One…
– (Rhett) Hold on, is it gonna be… – (Chase) …it attracts the ladies.
– …appropriate if you tell me what… – …they use it for?
– I think so. – (Link) Smelling.
– Uh, sure. That’s the third. And then also, when they get threatened,
it gets even bigger. It swells with… – …blood and gets really engorged.
– Okay. – (crew offscreen laughing)
– And then it amplifies their honk. – (Rhett) This is un-enlarged right now?
– Yeah, that’s regular. (Link) Is the honk also ugly? Like, can
you give me a sample? – I mean, I don’t think it’s visually ugly.
– What’s it sound like? – I’m gonna think it goes like…
– (crew offscreen laughing) – Waaa! Waaa!
– (crew offscreen laughing) You said, “I’m gonna think that it…”
That’s not how life works, Chase. – (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
– I didn’t… – You can’t just make reality by thinking.
– But it is… I mean, the look on his face. (Link) He knows that he’s ugly,
which is just sad. You guys are saying he’s ugly. I do
think that there’s parts of him… that are ugly, but look at those eyes.
He’s got a nice set of eyes. – (Rhett) Almond eyes.
– (Link) And he’s got a part right down… – …the center of of his head.
– (Rhett) And a really tight beard. Looks like he goes to a barber who cuts
beards. – Know what I’m saying?
– The facial hair is amazing. I say balding. It looks like he’s balding
to me. – (Rhett) There’s nothing wrong with that.
– (Link) That’s hair! There no way that he is uglier than
that thing. I mean, he would be my friend. – This thing, I’m running away.
– I mean, I do have to point out: – that’s his nose, but that’s his nose.
– (crew offscreen laughing) Exactly. So I think it’s a safe assumption
to say that we should at least put him… …at the 4 spot. Yeah, right.
That’s less ugly. ‘Cause the lower the number, the uglier.
This is the ugliest animal, right? – (crew offset laughing)
– Yeah, number one. – Okay, moving along.
– He could be a French actor. – Alex. Whoa! Alex. Good gracious.
– (crew offscreen laughing) – (Link) Oh, wow.
– (Alex) This is our friend the blobfish. I honestly feel like he kinda speaks for
himself. – He speaks? That thing can talk?
– (crew laughing) It looks like a guy who’s just very sad
and then started to melt, I feel like. (Link) When you et so sad you start to
melt, things get ugly. – It does look like a human.
– (Alex) Exacly. – (Rhett) Which makes it extra ugly.
– You know what, not a lot is known… …about the blobfish, because it’s in
the deep sea, you know. – (Alex) And people think it’s just…
– Well, I know it now. …because the other animals got together
and were like… – It is ugly.
– “Nah, you should stay down here.” I mean, if I had trust issues with you,
I would think that you printed this off… – and then Sharpied on eyes.
– (Alex) That’s the real deal. I wouldn’t even think… I’d think that
this would be, like, waste… …from another animal. Like slime waste
that you put eyeballs on. – Exactly, Link.
– Can you prove that it’s not just a… – …sad man? Because…
– Scientifically? No. (Link) Look at that drool. Sad man’s
drooling, too. I mean, he has no muscles, and it could
just be a really sad out-of-shape man. It’s like an open casket of a person who
died of sadness. I’m sorry. – (laughing)
– That’s ugly. That’s really ugly. I’ve heard of this thing, and the only
context I’ve heard of it in is the context of ugly. So I think we’re
going to number 1 with this baby. I’m putting it — yeah. Or do you want to
hold out hope? – Okay, yeah. Put it at 2.
– (Rhett) Let’s hold out hope. – (Rhett) I think that’s the best thing.
– (Link) I hope there’s nothing uglier… – …than that.
– (crew offscreen laughing) – (Rhett) All right, moving along. Lizzie.
– (Link) And interestingly, it does… – …have a big nose.
– What in the world, Lizzie? – Koala bear?
– Yep. Yeah, uh… allow me to explain. – Please do.
– (crew offscreen laughing) Unconventional choice, but I think I
will be able to sway you to my side here. They have beady red eyes, number one.
They have gummy fur. They have a terrible face to forehead to eyeball
ratio. It’s not good. It’s like a child LSD went to a Build-a-Bear, and then
just messed up hard. – (laughing) You know, I’ve never…
– Child on LSD went to Build-a-Bear. …thought of this before, but there could
be a whole ‘other face on top of the face. Yes! Who made it like that?!
It was a mistake. – Hey, yeah.
– That makes your forehead look small, Link. – I’m starting to be a little offended here.
– (crew offscreen laughing) This is hitting a little too
close to home. For the real kicker, though, they just
give you chlamydia. – What is uglier than an STD?
– They gave you chlamydia? – (crew offscreen laughing)
– No, I… – What were you doing with the koala?
– After-hours at the zoo. – (crew offscreen laughing)
(Stevie) Like revenge on an ex. This is a thing if it pees on you, you
have to get treated for chlamydia without even having done anything fun
to get the chlamydia, other than hold… …a koala, which is not fun, because
they’re gross. – (laughing)
– (Lizzie) And then you have to get shots. The One Direction kids got peed on by
a koala. Chlamydia. – All of ’em?
– Well, two of ’em. – (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
– Um, okay. You have some compelling… …arguments, but the pee thing is not
something I would know unless I… – …got peed on.
– Well, ugly on the inside and the… – …outside, I would say.
– (Rhett) Oh. Double ugly. – C’mon, Lizzy!
– (Lizzie) Also, they eat their… …mother’s poop. Didn’t know that,
did ya? – (Lizzie laughing)
– But listen. By this argument, listen… …you could swipe — what do you swipe:
left or right if you like somebody… – …on Tinder?
– Right. Is it right? Why are you — I am not an expert!
But right. – Yes.
– (crew offscreen laughing) I think this is whether or not you would
swipe right or left on this. – (Lizzie) Oh, left.
– Because I don’t know that this koala… – …would pee on me or eat poop.
– (Lizzie) It looks like it. (Rhett) You don’t know that
until the first date. (Lizzie) Look at its face!
It’s got an evil face. So I feel you gotta go just on the swipe
factor on this one. And it’s still a… – …little bear.
– It is a bear. It’s actual, like, Latin name means
“ash gray pocket bear.” – (Lizzie) That is not attractive.
– Here’s what I’ll say. – I think the monkey’s handsome…
– (crew offscreen laughing) …so I am gonna move him to 5.
Unless you’ve got any objections, Link. – I have objections.
– (crew offscreen laughing) – What? Chase? What?
– That thing is way uglier than… – A koala.
– No. A koala is, like, universally known as
cute to everyone but Lizzie. And that thing has a nose that is huge,
and that is ugly. Link, I’ll defer to you, man. I’m willing
to put the monkey in at 5. – (Lizzie) Look at its eyes!
– But Lizzie scared me a little bit. – (crew offscreen laughing)
– I feel like we should give her something. – The eyes are red. That’s creepy…
– (Lizzie) Yeah! – …but not ugly.
– It — – Sorry, Lizzie.
– (Lizzie gasps) No! It’s fur everywhere.
If there was some skin… – It’s still a bear.
– …like, if there was skin exposed… – …on this thing somewhere…
– (Lizzie) Have you seen wet one? – …I’d be like, “Ooh, that’s ugly.”
– “Have you seen wet one.” – Wet koalas are the ugliest things ever.
– (Rhett) Okay, Link. you put that up there. Well, you didn’t…
that’s not a wet koala. (Lizzie) That’s a dry one!
They’re still bad! – What happens when they get wet?
– They look like actual monsters. All right. Let’s see if Mr. Kevin can
usurp what’s happening here. – Oh, I definitely can.
– (Link) Oh! (Kevin) What you’re looking at right there
is the Aye-aye: the only creature ever named because the locals would shriek
when they would look at it. – Aye! Aye!
– (Kevin) Just like that. To me it kind of looks like a
cracked-out rat-bat mixture. – “Cracked-out rat-bat.”
– (Kevin) Look at it. (Kevin) With old-man hair, like that
wispy… You know how old men… You can see the baldness underneath
and they still are hanging on to those… – …few hairs. That’s what he’s got.
– And look, it’s got a human hand. – (Link) Oh, that is a human hand.
– (Kevin) Well, actually, look at the hand! The middle finger? That’s three times
bigger than all the other fingers. – Well, that that could come in handy.
– It can, because he reaches into trees… …and pierces bugs, and then stabs them
out, and then eats them. (Kevin) That’s how that
thing eats dinner. So the last thing is this guy, when he
gets out of his nest, he grooms himself for 30 minutes and he still looks
like that. – (laughing) You said locals.
– Poor guy! – He’s local to where?
– Madagascar. – (Rhett) Oh! He’s probably in a movie.
– I think that when Lizzie looks at a… – …koala, this is what she sees.
– (crew offscreen laughing) – Yeah, right. Uh-huh.
– Lizzie, is there any discernible… – …difference in your mind when you…
– (Lizzie) Yeah. …look at these two photos? Or are
you, like, ugly blind? Koalas blind? That one’s kinda cute
to me. – (Rhett) Oh, gosh, Lizzie.
– First of all, it’s tried. It spent 30 minutes grooming itself,
so I respect that. I mean, if I spend 30 minutes trying to
put on my makeup and I look bad… – …it’s not my fault. Like, it’s trying!
– (Rhett) Okay. I’m just gonna point out you guys only
have one slot left, and I think you… – (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
– That’s not how it works, Kev! (Kevin) You’ve done a pretty good job of
organizing these already. I think you should do, like, a “meet in
the forest” test. Like, if you were a cartoon, and those were cartoons, and
you were going through the forest and you were singing and you saw them,
what would your reaction be? My argument is if you saw that mole,
you wouldn’t be like, “Oh, hello, fella!” Right. I’m in complete agreement.
I think another thing you have to to is you have to equal the size. What if they
were all the size of a building. – You know what I mean?
– (Alex) A giant blobfish? – (Link) Oh, that’s an interesting test.
– (crew babbling in self-promotion) So that you take the cute-factor out.
They’re all the size of a building? – And that honk gets so much louder.
– (crew laughing) To me, if they’re all the size of a
building, you’ve got King Kong. You’ve got a big bear. Everybody likes
a big bear. You’ve got… cracked-out Batman. But it really, for me,
comes down to these two. (Link) No, no, no. This thing is so
ugly to me. – Really?
– (crew offscreen laughing) To me, I’m comfortable right now
putting it in number 1… – …except for this thing.
– (Rhett) No way! – (crew groaning)
– I’m pretty comfortable with that, too. He has… he’s humanoid!
He’s got features that… Well, this one. but this one looks
like a dead person. – (crew offscreen laughing)
– This one looks like… – …just a person down on their luck.
– If, if, if I was singing in the forest… …I do like the test. I apply that test
to many things in life. – (crew offscreen laughing)
– Um, and I come upon this… …I gingerly walk over it. But if I come
upon this, I say “Aye, aye!” and then I shriek and a run. I think this
is gonna attack me. – It’s not a fear test. It’s an ugly test.
– Well, that’s true. Except the only one that if you actually
came across in a forest you’d have to go to the doctor for is the koala!
That’s the only one you can’t touch! – True.
– Okay, this is a great test, because… …you know what locals do when they
actually see these things? They consider them an omen of evil and they kill
them on sight. – (Rhett and crew offscreen) Oh.
– Really. Do they eat them? – That is so sad that…
– They don’t eat them. – …he’s now cute in my eyes…
– (Lizzie) Yeah. – …and deserves to be number 5.
– (Link) There is a sadness. – I mean, rodents are rodents.
– “Oh, gosh. I know I’m ugly!” – Hey, there is a cute factor to this.
– (Lizzie) Yeah! – (Link) So ugly it’s cute?
– (Rhett) Yeah, but… – That still says number one to me.
– No. – If it gets cute because it’s so ugly…
– No. No, no, no, no. There’s a cute factor. There’s no way this
is number 1. There’s no universe… – …in which that is number 1.
– Go on, Rhett. It’s gotta be these two. It’s gotta come
down… look at that. This has fingers and, like a blown-out
butthole for a face. And this is a… …dead person that died of sadness.
Which one’s the ugliest? – I rest my case about 2 and 3.
– I’m gonna say… And then you just make the decision
about the ugliest one. I believe that this is so ugly to me.
This one, at least everywhere else is… – …not ugly. Well, if you look…
– (crew offscreen laughing) – (Link) I mean, that part’s not ugly.
– (Rhett) Yeah, it’s got some fur. Okay. So let’s move the blobfish to number one
and let’s put the aye-aye at number 2… – …is what I’m suggesting.
– Okay, that’s a compromise. – (Link) Let’s do that.
– (Rhett) This is a democracy. – I’m gonna move him right up there.
– And what we have determined… There you have it, ladies and gentlemen:
the ugliest animals in the world… …including the ugliest animal in the
world… – (both) The blobfish.
– (Rhett) Congratulations, Alex. Thanks, guys. I had a feeling the blobfish
would come through for me on this one. How do you feel about this? Do you
agree with out consensus? I’m sure you will let us know in the
comments, so thank you for leaving those, for liking, and subscribing and
sharing this video. – You know what time it is.
– My name is Mary Beth, and I just went… …to Graceland. And it’s time to spin
The Wheel of Mythicality. You don’t have to be a member of the
Mythical Crew to be on the show. You can be on the show my submitting a
Wheel of Mythicality video! And that’s a little bit different this season. Follow
the link in the description to go to rhettandlink.com/contact. You fill out that
form to submit your video. Click through to Good Mythical More.
We’re gonna get some animal encounter… – …stories from the crew.
– (Rhett) “Beatboxing donkeys!” (various “here-haw” noises) [Captioned by Kevin:
GMM Captioning Team]

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. Aye-ayes are one of my favorite animals because they're kinda cute from some angles, but mostly they're unlucky little crustpunk lemurs.

  2. I feel like Lizzie here was doing the animal ugliness equivalent of trying to dissuade someone from liking hot dogs based on how they’re made. XD Like:

    “HOT DOGS ARE DISGUSTING BECAUSE THEY CONTAIN THIS, THAT, AND THE THIRD IN AN INTESTINE!”

    “So? Still tastes good.” XD

  3. Lizzy : who made the koala 🐨 like that

    Me : GOD!!!

    Her: owkeh

    Me thinking in my mind : why did I start this conversation 🤦‍♂️

  4. who is ready for Weird Al's new hit single, the parody of poker face: probosci face tbh it will probably end up being a thing within the next few years

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