[Channel Teaser] How I Became The Groups Inside Joke And Loved
Every Second Of It Viewer submitted story by Eva. Thank you! First of all, this story took place during
my first-time playing D&D 5th edition. We were playing through the module, Curse
of Strahd. Let me quickly describe the two main characters
of this story and outline the rest of the party. My character was Cassandra, or Cassy for short,
a half-elf paladin. Ever since I created her, I wanted her to
take the oath of vengeance. However, despite taking this violent oath
and having a tragic backstory, she had the most positive outlook on things, even after
Barovia. I believe this says more about the rest of
the party than my paladin. The second main character in this story is
our dwarf cleric, Carnys. She was a worshipper of Moradin and chose
the light domain. She was played by an experienced D&D player,
so this balanced out the naive recklessness of the rest of the party, who were new players. Quickly going through the rest of the party,
we had a halfling rogue, a half-orc barbarian, and a human wizard. At the beginning of the adventure, the mists
transported us to the land of Barovia, a place where the sun doesn’t shine, traveling is
dangerous, and the people are sketchy. It is ruled by the vampire, Count Strahd von
Zarovich. Our party traveled along the only road to
the town of Barovia. We immediately found the plot hook: a girl
named Rose and a boy named Thorn wanted us to go inside their house and save their baby
brother from the monster in the basement. As the paladin of the group, I managed to
convince the other players to go inside. After a session or two, we had explored the
first and second floor and found no sign of life and no sign of how to reach the basement. We went up to the third floor to encounter
an animated suit of armor. Being one of the tanks in the group, I tried
to fight it. Emphasis on tried… I was having bad luck with my dice that day
and I kept missing attack after attack. Eventually, we won against the armor and Cassy
did nothing but swing her sword around. We decided to explore the third floor room
by room. Again, trying to fulfill my role as a tank,
I was in front of a door with the rest of the party behind me. My hands clenched the hilt of my sword and
I braced for the attack I knew was coming. I gave the wizard the go ahead and he used
mage hand to open the door. It was a broom closet. However, someone in the house decided to animate
the broom, because before I knew it, the DM was telling me I had been hit by a broom. And not just any broom, this thing must have
been the Louisville slugger of brooms. After rolling the dice, he told me the staggering
amount of hit points I lost. And that is how poor Cassy was knocked out
by a broom in one hit. If my memory is correct, the combat against
the broom only lasted one round. The other players kept on teasing me about
the broom incident session after session. However, this joke was short lived compared
to the joke that came the next session. After going to the attic, we found a spiral
staircase that went straight to the basement. It was a classic dungeon crawl. Among the enemies we fought were some ghouls,
shadows, and a grick. Cassy was unable to hit any of the enemies,
despite now being level two. This was in contrast to Carnys, who hit the
monsters as much as she healed the party. Finally, we came across a door. In hindsight, this should have been suspicious,
since there had been no doors in this dungeon. However, most of us were new to D&D, so mistakes
were bound to happen. Upon seeing this door, the rogue noticed a
lock on the door and took out his thieves’ tools in order to unlock it. This was a mistake, for when the tools touched
the door, they stuck to it. Curiously the rogue tried to pull his tools
away and part of the door came with them. The dull wooden brown boards of the door began
to shift into a soft pink fleshy tongue. Eyes popped open as it opened its mouth wide
enough to swallow the rogue whole. Of course the door was a mimic. Our party fought hard. That is except for my character. It seemed my bad luck continued. Cassy just kept on swinging and swinging,
but couldn’t hit the mimic. Eventually, the damage the party did was enough
to cause the mimic to disengage and move away from us on its turn. It went out of the room and around the corner
into the next room. Carnys ran around the corner into the room
in pursuit of the wounded mimic. She tried to attack the mimic, but missed. My turn. Being a future paladin of vengeance, Cassy
ran around the corner out of the party’s view. I rolled to attack, and for the first time
in the campaign, I managed to hit. Not wanting to waste this opportunity, I added
a divine smite for some extra damage. This resulted in my paladin slicing the mimic
in half. Initiative ended and the rest of the party
entered the room. What the other characters did afterwards highlights
what I love about roleplaying games. Imagine you entered a room with a slain mimic. Who would you think killed the mimic? The dwarven cleric, who has diligently healed
your wounds and has killed creatures before, or the incompetent paladin, who not only hasn’t
hit a single enemy once, but has also been knocked out by a broom? The characters immediately went up to the
dwarf, patted her on the back, and said “Good job, Carnys!” This became an inside joke amongst the party. Every time Cassy killed something, whether
the party saw it or not, they would say “Good job, Carnys!” Maybe to other players if they were in my
position, this joke would get annoying, but I loved it. I completely embraced it and I was never bothered
by it because Cassy turned into a tank just as formidable as the barbarian. In a way, it reminded me of my paladin’s
humble beginnings. In roleplaying terms, Cassy wasn’t bothered
too much by the praise going to Carnys, since she only cared if evil was defeated. At one point, we gained a new party member:
Nikolai, an NPC-turned-PC. His wife had worshipped Strahd, and when Nikolai
realized that they should not worship the vampire lord, he succumbed to a sickness and
died. In a creepy manner, his wife kept him under
gentle repose for years in their bedroom. What we did when we entered his house is a
story for another time. To make a long story short, we entered the
house diplomatically, excited for her book club, and exited with the dead body of Nikolai
after Cassy, with the help of Carnys, killed his wife. “Good job, Carnys!” Another long story later, and Nikolai was
raised from the dead and played by a new player who was just getting into D&D. Later on in the adventure, Nikolai had a dream
in the Amber Temple, showing the body of his wife with Cassy and Carnys beside it. Before the dream, we had told him Strahd killed
his wife. When he confronted Cassy about it, I, the
player, said, “It wasn’t me! Just ask the party! Carnys did it!” We all laughed. This was out of character, of course, but
if it worked, it would be the one time this joke went in Cassy’s favor. Cassy did eventually get credit for something,
though. The party eventually fought Strahd. In the end, Cassy, with a sun sword named
Avenging Dawn in hand, struck down the vampire lord. The vampire turned to dust, the mist retreated,
and the sun reappeared for the first time in centuries. However, what was more amazing than all of
that to Cassy, now level 10, was that instead of congratulating Carnys, the party said,
“Good job, Cassy”. Now that was a miracle. Sometimes missing every single hit can be
just as satisfying as landing them. D&D is a game of inside jokes and gags. Have you ever had something unfortunate like
failing spectacularly turn into something great? Please let us know and comment below! Don’t forget to subscribe to our channel,
All Things DnD. Our next video will be posted in 2 days, so
stay tuned for more amazing Dungeons & Dragons content!

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. Have you ever had something unfortunate like failing spectacularly turn into something great? Please let us know and comment below!

    Feel free to send us your stories here: [email protected] or post it directly on our website https://www.allthingsdnd.com.

    You can check out more narrated stories here:

    http://bit.ly/ATDNarratedStories

    Like watching animated stories? Check them out here:

    http://bit.ly/ATDAnimatedStories

    Have fun watching our videos and stay subscribed for more amazing DnD content!

  2. I'm not the only one , who can only see that the fighter's hand on the sword has three fingers right?
    (Good story tho)

  3. My first ever paladin declared Smite Evil against a possessed floating crystal skull, the final enemy of the dungeon which he had been saving this smite for, then immediately failed 3 will saves against paralysis in a row. They weren't even that high DC, I was just dropping 2s and 3s. When I finally broke free, I missed the next two attack rolls. The ranger basically solo-ed the creature while my paladin sat and watched

    failed 3 Will saves in a row against a crystal skull, desire the DC only being 14 and having at least a +4. The ranger had to sol

  4. I used to play a persistent campaign online many years ago, and one of our players had a crappy internet connection. He wrote it into his character – he suffered from Narcolepsy.
    Further, at one point, his paladin's soul suddenly found himself sharing a corporeal form with his evil twin's soul. He now switched personalities whenever he fell asleep.

  5. In my first DnD campaign I was playing a Warlock of the Great Old one. All but 2 of the 6 people in the party were new, and our Rogue had gone down in our first encounter on the side of a wooded road.

    We didn’t have a healer so I attempted to stabilize him. I rolled a nat 20 and the DM described how I found some leaves and stuffed them into his wounds well enough to not only halt the bleeding, but bring the rogue back with 1 hit point.

    From that point on the party would joke about how I was our leafy medic- I even bought a medkit in the next town, took a feat that let me heal with it, and stuffed a few nice leaves I found in there for good measure.

  6. I had something like this happen to me. My goblin thief was a notorious coward in our game. At one point he became separated from the group in a room with 4 cultists, due to good luck, sneak attack and them not taking a single goblin seriously he killed them all in glorious fashions. When he returned to the group bragging no one believed him Lol

  7. We had a human fighter in our party for a while. His name was Hawk, and his low INT matched that of the guy playing him (whose name was Hank). One of our earliest melees occurred in a cursed temple, where we surprised a mob of skeletons (which everyone knows are susceptible to blunt-force damage). The half-elf fighter drew his long-sword, intending to use the flat side of the blade. The dwarf drew his club, as did our bard. The wizard prepared to defend himself with his staff. The DM asked Hawk what he was going to do. Earnest and determined, Hawk replied, "I take out my blowgun." That line became our party's inside joke. It lasted for years, long after Hawk stumbled into his own demise and Hank left the game. 😆

  8. I once crit failed against an enemy with ac so low I'd hit anyways. Instead of dragging the battle along, my weapon (a personally made thundering returning great axe made of mithril,) still hit the wild elf, but when it returned, the body remained on it forcing me to use my bonus action to attempt to take the elf off. Couldn't use an AoO so… the enemies abused that for better positioning. Was still hilarious with my winged war princess watching these elves dance around her while flailing a great axe with a body attached to it ineffectively.

  9. While exploring a town I stumbled upon a sign that read "Big Al's Sex Dungeon". Being new to dnd I thought this was some sort of a prank and told the DM I will go into the building. Imagine my surprise when I found a tiefling bent over the knee of so called Big Al getting spanked xD

  10. I had a character named Justin Time who had a cousin named Justin Case (yes I stole this idea from puffin forest). Well one day we had a sub in math class and he was telling this story about this guy named Justin Case, and he wrote “Justin Case” on the board. I looked at my friend and he was already looking at me, and well we were trying not to laugh

  11. This story reminds me of a Japanese anime character called "Darkness" who is btw a crusader class with a "masochist" behavior. She likes taking damage for no good reason and can't hit for shit. And yes, this anime is called konosuba.

  12. In a campaign of mine, despite playing a Rogue with more skills than everyone else combined almost. My character is has an uncanny amount of lack of luck. We are too early in the campaign for it to be hyper important, but over time he has set some patterns of being unreliable.

  13. During a campaign one of our party members was a monk. This monk would negotiate the prize endlessly and when we went to collect our reward, he would claim that we were promised more than we had actually been promised. We ended up naming our party "Team Greedy Monk", a name that stuck, even after the player left.

    The same party had a thing with sheep. I think we kidnapped one early on. The rogue later bought a couple of them for a big romantic gesture. The gesture failed horribly and the sheep were left to run around the town. The rogue later got another sheep, shaved it and made it a sweater of its own wool.

  14. In my first campaign my character kept accidentally causing misfortune. Our first session she accidentally caused a huge forest fire in an ancient elven forest connected to the dry wild. In the second session she accidentally caused a helpful old beggar man to have a heart attack and fall down the stairs breaking his neck. Her catch phrase became “It was an accident!”. At one session our team member ended up accidentally killing a street urchin (the player forgot how weak they were) in a very public way. They both successfully hid in the crowd. I ended up rolling a 1 and ended up running away screaming “it was an accident!” It got the point the point where she would do something bad on purpose, would get questioned about it and would use the accident excuse and most would simply believe her without doing an insight check because of how many times it had happened before.

  15. Aaah, i remember it, the first session of this campaing, my friend who lost to the broom in a 1 vs 1 fight (him with full health xD) he couldn't hit it and was knocked out at the 3rd (punch?) XD it was really funny

  16. I once played a Dwarf Cleric, who would start drowning as soon as they go in the water (I failed every swim check). Which was hilarious because we were playing a Pathfinder campaign called “Skulls and Shackles”, which is a pirate themed campaign. So whenever we had to initiate water combat everyone looked at me and yep I start drowning. That became such a joke to the point where we thought that my character would drown as soon ass they touch a puddle. Be fun I’ve ever had with failing something.

  17. Hah, that was cute. It also proves that sometimes people get offended over nothing and just rolling with the punches can be more fun for everybody; yourself included.

  18. The first time I played D&D my friend and I bought a magic porta-potty and then rented it back to the person we bought it from at a higher price…
    The DM banned us from any more capitalism after that.

  19. I was playing with a group in a one off of course of strahd and I tried to leave the building and the front door had power word kill. Later I was revived and we went to the mimic where our cleric grabbed the knob and was promptly chomped on after which the second wizard of the party cast lightning bolt which ricochet into everyone except me and downed himself after which I cast summon swarm and was then slammed into by a the door mimic which visualizing it is hilarious.

  20. Failing spectacularly and getting pwned can be just as fun as pulling off bad ass feats of heroics and general prowse. I play a 12 year old cobalt soul Monk and I get beaten up all the time, I was sun soul at first but transitioned to cobalt during the campaign while retaining sunbolt and searing arc strike. My DM had me reunite with my halfling master and fight to consolidate the transition. I got my ass handed to me and it was the story explanation for how my character learned mind of mercury. Then in the session after that, I met my rival, a shadow Monk who also whooped my ass and it turns out both these combats occurred in the same day.

  21. I haven't played DnD for that long, so it may be too soon to tell, but i know 100% that the party is going to be cracking jokes about this for a LONG time.

    The party had a variant human monk, an aracocra Ranger, two human Fighters, and me, A half-Ork Warlock/Sorcerer.

    We were exploring an abandoned mine in search of Crystals to pay off an npc Rogue to get information.

    The mine was mostly collapsed, with several bridges used to navigate the terrain. The DM said that if we wanted to cross, we would have to make some dexterity saves. No biggie right? Wrong. You see, my Half-Ork was a Wild Magic sorcerer, his magic was tied to a cursed left arm that was slowly turning him into a golem. As some of you have guessed, this character is highly inspired by Dingo Doodle's character Sips. (I'm sorry, this was my first time creating a character) so, since my character weighed so much from his stone limb, my FM told me to roll with disadvantage. First roll, a 19. * sigh * Second roll, a 2. And on top of that, when we were deciding our marching order, I was in the back. So the rest of the party crossed the bridge no problem, and while I was crossing a weak board snapped under my weight and I fell 69 feet. (Yes, the DM said it was 69 feet deep) into a hole. And I would have been knocked unconscious if I wasn't Half-Ork. For those of you who don't know, when a Half-Ork's hp drops to zero, you can come back with 1 hp left once per long rest. But that was almost worse, since now my character had nothing to do. The thing that made this so infuriating, and what turned it into a joke, was that the bridges were fairly sturdy, so we only needed to roll a 3 or higher in order to pass the check. And in case you have short-term memory loss, let me remind you that I rolled a 2.

    Once the mission was over. I had to beg my Archfey patron to get me out of the hole, wich required SEVERAL charisma rolls.

    And the cherry on top? Once we made it back to the Rogue, he told us that the "Gems" were actually crystalized goblin drool. And he only sent us to get them in order to see if we were crazy enough to do it.

    So now, whenever we run into a bridge, the party makes jokes about my character's weight.

  22. My first ever game of dnd, I was playing a Blue Dragonborne fighter. When I first made my character, I got excited at one of the perks of the Dragonborne race: the breath weapon, in my case, a lightning Bolt that goes in a straight line for about 15 feet or so.

    I got excited to use it, making plans to try and hit multiple enemies, and deciding if I would do a sort of incantation before using it or if that was too cheesy.

    Through some sort of events, our party of 5 ended up infiltrating a goblin base where they were enslaving some kobolds , using some scrolls of illusion to pass through. My party made me the leader, for some reason, even though I hadnt gotten much of a chance to talk (the campaign started with over 8 players, this was like the 3rd or 4th session) and through some poor choice of words, I got them to see through our disguises and the entire base was coming to this room to kill us.

    With no other option, we hunkered down and tried to fight them off. The room we were in had 5 exits: One south and two to easy and west, us being nearer the upper right exit. We were taking a beating (I was trying my best to save people with my Protector combat style, but they were too many), however, I found an opportunity to shine: from the south exit a goblin brought like 3 Giant rats.

    They all came in a straight line, so I thought to myself that this was my opportunity to shine and at least do something really cool for a change. I prepared my attack and… 1-2 damage to all of the 4 targets. It wasnt of much help anyway, we were dead already. And thats where my first campaign ended.

  23. In my campaign my players greatest enemy was a hole I had placed in the center of a bridge they had to jump across to get to the other side of. There was a 20 ft drop and I made them take 1d6 falling damage If they fell but they could walk back around and try again. Our greatest warrior who had defeated an orc chieftain and a troll single handed was knocked unconscious because of this hole.

  24. This one time I was playing with my usual group, one of our friends managed to get a pet tiger as an ally.
    He was super ecstatic about having this tiger (in all honesty I was a huge help since most of the party was ranged combat).
    The was one issue though, this tiger was green.
    The whole time my friend was trying everything possible to figure out why his new tiger was green.
    Things from player skills to asking powerful NPCs for help.
    This went on for the six months we played this particular campaign setting (once a week) until the DM decided he wanted to end the campaign because he wanted to play again (this is how we played, we took turns DMing and switched campaigns regularly) and we all finally found out why the tiger was green.
    It just was! No magic, no potions, no natural phenomenon. This DM just made it green.
    Thus, the mystery of the green tiger was solved.

  25. A similar thing happened to my aasimar paladin with that same encounter, my dm had let us level up a little early to encourage us (we were all first time players) but then scaled up the enemies to compensate. Me and the half elf rogue decided to split up from the party and we got attacked by the broom. We almost died and I used one of my few spell slots on a smite to kill it. The rogue and I lost so much health in the encounter so I burned my healing and we both lied to the party about what attacked us to save face.

  26. Session 0 for our 5e campaign was a zombie apocalypse setting, since it was Halloween. I was using my level 1 human monk, Menendra. Once he appeared in this new hellscape, he met a Dwarven Ranger, his pet bear and another pc the DM played I've forgotten. The fight began at a school, the first battle had ended by the time he arrived. After a discussion of the situation, he joined their cause without delay. I was having bad luck with my rolls that night, as most of them weren't high enough to be successful. I'd also only grapple. At first, simply cause I wanted to try it. The other attempts were me, determined to actually land a hit with that action. Any time of miss, we explained the fail as an MMA style looking hug. The party members began questioning if Menendra had some kind of odd fetish. When a hit finally was landed with a grapple, there was no one around to see it. Hilarious, I know.

  27. Funny thing a runny gag with me started on strahd to. My character also a plaadin was swallowed by the shambling mound in the basement. Since then the joke in our campains has been if some thing can swallow my character it will, and has lol.

  28. Our warlock would go up to people with a sack of eyeballs and asked: "Can 'eye' help you," right before he killed them and ripped their eyes out of their head and placed them in his 'eye pouch.' He would also take the bones of his victims and would take them all to a tavern and ask: "Can you cook these bones for me"

  29. Very short story but when I first played D&D it was a complete homebrew world, races everything homebrew me and one other player started off as slaves as an unfortunate incident had happened to both of us I was a lizard man soldier (based of the lizard men from divinity series as I had no idea about the dragon born race) and the other player was a disgraced Dwarven noble his beard shaved off so he wore his hair long and tied it so it looked like a beard the reason for his disgrace was he was caught being overly friendly with I think it was the king's niece or something like that anyway we were sold to this farmer and this was how we met and one night we were in the loft of the barn were we sleep the barn was old and little flimsy as the barn was rocking as if a strong wind was blowing there was no wind that and my character was kept awake all night so the next morning went to milk the cows or what ever served as cows in the morning as we did but due to my lack of sleep I accidentally milk a bull the DM which it was first time as a DM said it as a joke it got referenced so many times it became cannon

  30. My friend has trouble forming her thoughts into words sometimes and she asked to make a "Diplomancy" roll. That word stuck forever.

  31. I kept mixing up Corellon(Elf God) and Corellian(StarWars) during this one campaign so an NPC Priestess of Corellon who was getting flirty with my character would pull pranks everytime I mixed it up while RPing. Anything from ice water falling on his head from the sky to slipping a merchant, who I paid to make a set of magical clothes that could take on multiple forms, a bribe to add a banana hammock form on command. The championship match of a tournament I was fighting in at her request, and ostensibly in her honor(all chivalrous like), was not exactly the best time to find this out…

    That character also became ironically associated with dogs. One hit a dragon with a flying kick? Done it. Suplexed a charging Rhino? Done it. Crit on every Vampire ever encountered? Sure did(seriously, it was a trip)!
    Get within 20 feet of a dog? On the ground being torn to shreds 3 rounds later. Every. Single. Time.

  32. In my d&d group we have a in joke about how the entire party was killed by that broom she mentioned, the broom committed a tpk, In Session 1, the DM quickly restarted the story

  33. We had a campaign in pathfinder, and we were running Runelords, we had a Angel Paladin, a half blue/half gem dragon in a D&D transformation ability to a human warrior, a red dragon also D&D transformation style as a human barbarian, a kitsune wizard, and myself as a kitsune ronin samurai, I named Sakura. I was built trying to make her a horse riding archer and a clank clank tank on foot. The katana I weilded was useful in the beginning, but as the campaign went forward I saw less and less combat due to all the ranged combative classes, so I switched to my longbow. This is where things took a turn for the worse as the dice gods decided they didn't like me shifting my focus, and would roll nat 1's on my to hit, and my direction rolls would always go toward the angel every time, until me and the dragon warrior were aiming for a demon, both using bows, he using a goblin bow since we just killed them. Kicker was he never used a bow before and was a bow size category smaller than him. We both rolled nat 1's and hit the angel right between the wings. The angel then broke the bows and forbidden my character from using bows most of the campaign until I spent down time training my horse and bow practice. My archery was more spot on with advantage after that, and the dice gods were more in my favor after that, getting some nice hits, even if the angel still twinged at each thung of my bow string. Even though the campaign still was cheesed by the OP draconic party members, it was still fun but it still saddened me I couldn't have helped more.

  34. This story happened the same way to my group the broom hit me down the stairs and almost killed me, and my brother killed it in 1 hit then we got to the mimic where my other brother got stuck. I then one shot the minic. I'm glad my group was not the only one

  35. In my group I had a friend that played only spellcasters and mainly druid and in every game he tried to use poison spray but never hit or even if he hit it the enemys were imune to poison but it was always funny how everyone at the table got excited every time in hopes that he will hit it this time

  36. My drow sorceress failed 4 times in a row the insight check to realize that a street thug was posing as innkeeper maid in order to steal us the Mcguffin. This backfired so badly for the DM when the next session my hyperfrindly, oddball sorceress rolled 2 natural 20s on a disadvantaged charisma check and managed to actually endear the same street thug making her spill out the plan out.
    7 month late Aimieel proposed to her. For an unnamed random thug created to be killed that's a good outcome I guess.

  37. I played this campaign as a one shot. My dm made the kids real and their baby brother real. We got to rescue them. We never made it to the basement because we were enamored with other things

  38. Sounds like you had some bad die. They have poor quality control, and often have bubbles inside that affect their rolls.

  39. "Nop, that was just my bonus action".
    We we're playing a 5e dungeon crawler campaign, finally ending the end of the maze, final fight was suppose to be a run for the exit instead of fighting. The senior members of the party race for the door(levels 18-20), while the newer ones stayed behind (levels 13-17) . The bbge summoned some high cr celestials and fiend, and we rolled initiative, seniors panicked while I waited my turn, then I move myself to a good position, and use divine word the summoned creatures failed saving throw even with all their mambo jambo, most than half of them were gone and the party realize they could actually win this, I could notice the tone of voice of the DM about being surprise and outplayed, and then he nervously asked me "ok, viken that would be the end of your turn?" To what I replied "No, that was just my bonus action". Everyone laugh, and whenever we did something big just with a bonus action we will remind the DM, "no, that was just my bonus action"

  40. So I just stopped watching because I dont want to get any spoilers for Strahd and you just started with the basic contents.
    In such cases – can you give a spoiler warning/clearance?

  41. I am a side joke too, been playing for over 6 months with the same crew and about 75% of the time I roll under 5. Bad luck

  42. A group I was in had an inside joke that sprung from a druid who any time combat occurred would immediately do the same thing every time for his first action. "I turn into a tree"

  43. Have to stop watching this half way through as it the current campaign in playing through, my warlock was also tkoed by the broom tho

  44. I was running a 3.5 campaign a few years ago using 'Neverwinter Nights 2' as the basis. The party consisted at the time of Scael, a Tiefling Bard who took the "Throw Anything" Feat, because his player loved to improvise, and Thelin, a Gnome Druid with a focus on Wildshape. There was also a Dwarven Monk, a Half-elf Sorcerer, and a couple of NPCs, but the first two are the important ones for this story.
    For those who haven't played it, at one point you're given the option of being deputized into the Neverwinter Watch, which is chronically short-handed after a recent war with Luskan, and one of your first tasks is to defend a shopkeeper who had refused to pay "protection" to the local Thieves Guild. The party had no sooner finished reassuring the shopkeeper and his very skeptical daughter that they, as members of the Watch, would keep them safe, when a group of half-a-dozen thugs walked in to demand payment.
    Scael, being the 'Face' of the party, tried to convince the thugs to leave. Since he was a Tiefling and a member of the Watch, he decided to go for Intimidation first.
    Me: "So, what do you say to them?"
    Scael: rolls Nat 1. "Uh… 'Back off! I've got a gnome, and I'm not afraid to use him!'"
    Me: "The thugs are spectacularly unimpressed. Roll for Initiative."
    The party rolls, and Scael wins, followed immediately by the Gnome.
    Scael: "I grab Thelin and, using my "Throw Anything" feat, I hurl him at the lead tough guy!"
    Me: "You what?" Since I don't generally allow involuntary PvP at my table, I turn to the Gnome, "You okay with this?"
    a light comes on in the player's eyes "…Sure. I've got an idea."
    Now, Thelin's player usually isn't much for improve, so if he's "got an Idea" I want to see where this is going. And since the Gnome only weighs 34 lbs, it's the first round of combat and he hasn't gone yet making him flat-footed and he's not resisting, I allow it without a Grapple check.
    Me: "Okay, Scael. Make an attack roll to throw him." Nat 20.
    Thelin: "As I fly towards the group of thugs, I use my Wildshape to turn into a Brown Bear, at 400 lbs, it's the biggest form I've got access to right now."
    Me: blinking "…Okay. The lead thug goes down under 400 lbs of ballistic Brown Bear." rolls "And the rest of the thugs just failed their morale checks. They're panicking."

    The combat that followed was short, but one of the Thieves did get away. And apparently, the story of "Suddenly, BEAR!" spread rapidly, and Gnomish shopkeepers not only saw far less harassment by the Thieves Guild, Gnomes in general got a lot more respect from the general populace from them on. ^_^

  45. I mean, there was that one time I was trying to make a good-hun potion (homebrewed, made with 10 goodberries and some honey and water), rolled 2 nat 1's, and thats how I got a potion of necrotic decay and a potion of petrification.

  46. I was wondering when reading the players handbook for Dungeons and Dragons on D&D Beyond. When I though about adding a weekly pension into my characters backstory. For Example.
    “I recently retired from my job in the kings court as the arch mage. The king offered me a weekly pension of 25 gold each week for my services over the many years of services to him and the kingdom.”
    Wound a pension fit in to a champion??? Please leave a comment. Thanks.

  47. Pathfinder campaign. Me: Catfolk Sorceress, Silver Dragon Blood heritage, Maiquandi Velanko. First battle encounter, launched a snowball that took out a walker, swarmed by the undead that were half intelligent and knew enough to take out the one that showed promise of taking them out quickly. In short, I was knocked out. Second encounter, dragged into unconsciousness by wolves. Third encounter, ogre fist to the skull. Fourth encounter: The "Mai is down" counter was born and filled at least once per encounter, twice in two.

    My character was very skilled with her words… not so skilled with her brains. Tended to inch too close to the front lines. Never did learn her lesson either.

  48. I am also the inside joke of my group (and by extension my high school’s DnD Club). In my very first session, I tried to convince a group of goblins to leave us alone by handing over all of my stuff. Rolled terribly, lost my weapons as well, and ended up having to go weaponless for the majority of two sessions. To this day, even the new players are warned heartily about my mistake, and every time a plan is concocted and discussed, it must pass the “Goblin incident” standard to be enacted.

  49. “I swung, and i missed, and i swung, and i missed, and i swung, and i missed, and i missed, and i missed, and i missed, and i swung again, and i missed, and i swung, and i missed…”

  50. My buddy got knocked unconscious by that broom, TWICE. He was in the dang doorway of the closet so it was an absolute pain to fight it and get him out of the way since the rest of us were crowding the doorway.

  51. My dad is a paladin in a campaign with me, my uncle and my cousin and my dad didn’t hit a single damage before session 3

  52. about 10 years or so, we were playing a 4E campaign, my character was a female dragonborn paladin (who was mostly a half-dragon with a heavy human heritage, and used a katana with the excuse of it being lighter than a longsword) a female human invoker of selune (who was covered from head to toe in a "Roc" costume) a "standard" dragonborn fighter, a dragonborn barbarian and a female edgelord drow, we were tasked with traveling around some islands to chase down some cultists, but when we finally got a ship, it's captain was some crazy old fellow whom tooks us around while always talking some nonsense about his years as an adventurer, but when the time come for our "Roc" to spend time with him, he kept calling her parrot and by the time all the party was waiting for the npc to stop rambilng we have heard the DM call the invoker parrot so many times, that when the player actually tried to ro how she was annoyed by that and tried to protest, I just said in character "does the parrot want a cracker?" and that became my group's inside joke for the years to come thanks to the ingenuity of our DM

  53. I got one.

    I was a player with two different groups. Our friend George was a DM for the session I played earlier that week. In his homebrew campaign, we'd just finished clearing out a dungeon when my halfling monk decided to get curious about a mysterious seeing stone. George obligingly had the stone deal damage from some BBEG. My character barely survived. "Orb's bad." He wheezed to his companions when they found him.

    Fast forward. Another group, another session, another unrelated homebrew. Im playing a dragonborn, and my Brother Bob is playing as a halfling monk this time. George was also present but as a charcter this time. Our DM, Keith set up an encounter in a trade post, where all the people are dead. Keith is unaware of what transpired in George's session, so when Keith has us encounter a small metal ball among the corpses, George and I shared amused look. Bob, also unaware, has his halfling monk pick up the cursed ball. On a failed save he is compelled to "share" it and playfully passes it to the nearest party member. The DM informs Bob that he's been poisoned. George smirks. I'm cracking up. "Orb's bad." Shenanigans ensue. We found out that several planted artifacts were responsible for wiping out the outpost. Most of us needed to be cured of poisoning.

    During our smoking break we shared the story from Geoge's game. Now every halfling monk in our gaming circle is essentially Peregrin Took.

  54. In this exact same encounter, it was a 3 v 1 while I was trapped downstairs. The broom crit 3(!!!) times in a row. It almost killed 3 level 2 characters, leaving the 4th one to die alone. Thankfully the broom was defeated, but not before the dm labeled us Broomers. Ok Broomer.

  55. Mor AH din? No. Mor UH din. It should roll off the tongue. Damn Elves can't even pronounce the Dwarven All-Father's name correctly. No wonder they can't produce a decent brew.

  56. Pathfinder story, not DnD, but still counts in my book.
    I am playing an Oread who is Wild Rager and Adaptive Shifter. Adaptive Shifter gives me the access to an ability that acts like enlarge person. Wild Rager gives me access to an ability that let's me make an additional attack at full BAB, at the cost of to hit and AC.

    My character also had a quirk of being isolated from society for most of his life thanks to the Isolated alt racial trait, which gave a boost to perception at a cost of knowing Common.

    As a side effect of this, when he rages, he reverts to only being able to speak Terran, which of course nobody knows.

    Also because of his connection to nature thanks to his shifter training, he is very protective of trees, and falls into a rage when someone is destructive to them.

    Enter the fight with the gorillas. We are dealing with them just fine until one of them crashes through a tree. This of course throws me into a rage and I go all out on the gorrila, and drop it in two blows. Now, Wild Rager has another ability. If I ever drop a creature to 0 while enraged, I must make a will save or become confused. If I fail the save and still have attacks left, I hit the nearest target.

    I said I went all out. I used wild fighting, which meant 3 attacks. I rolled the will save. Crit fail. Wild fighting gave me one extra attack, so I turned to the nearest creature, my GM's healer. Roll for attack. Crit success. Roll to confirm. Crit success. Roll for damage. Max damage. I take him out in one hit.

  57. You know, there was one time, when our suspicious halfling thife hide in a chest in the merchants chariot, while we were going for the first step of the Curse of Strad campaign. We were new to the game, so we made mistakes like that. He "Nyam-nyam" tryed to finde evidence, that the merchants are our enemy – but they were just some NPC-s, who would take us near the place, where we had to go. Nyam-nyam was too loud and a guard came to see, what is going on. Me, as a bard, tryed to warn him, but i had to use my finger to point the direction, where i want to land my message. This was in the middle of the night, but the campfire near me had enough light, to reveal my attention? What did the guard notice? There is a strage sound form a box, and a fellow wanderer just pointing at it. He checked the chest, and Nyamnyam failed the saving throw to hide. He panicked and bit the gurd in the nuts. My DM sad, take a strength check: another fail. His jaw cramped at the guys nuts, and they both fell out form the chariot and landed in front of the bona fied merchants, who just wanted to help some fellow adveturers…. The rest is history.

  58. We had a short-term player that seemed to have legendary luck with his die rolls, a relatively new player. One of my veterans had two click-counters that he hit. He was a quiet "wait and see" guy. He was the only one who could see where that new player was rolling his dice. Every time he rolled his dice and lied about the result, he'd click his counter. He'd click the other counter when he told the truth. By the end of the first mini-campaign, he showed us what he did and how he counted and why. All the battles were really easy because of that player's character being so epicly "lucky". What prompted him to reveal what he did is I told that player to swap dice with another player, assuming the dice were weighted or something. "That won't work, Mike's dice are not magic or anything." He showed me the results of his counting and that player's honesty was impeccable to a fault. The catchphrase that's used every time a roll does well, especially if it's critical, is "he must have used Mike's magic dice!" That caused all of us to laugh… and that player to eventually quit… especially how the rule that all rolls must be seen by myself and at least one other player was strictly applied "Witnessed or it maximum failure is assumed". Mike's Magic Dice!

  59. My favorite story like this is a sharpshooting ranger meant to be a sniper build. Problem is the dice didn't agree. They couldn't seem to hit any simple enemy.

    Room full of guards with almost no space to dodge, misses.

    Horde of charging orks, misses.

    Flying BBEG on the other side of an entire battlefield that wasn't supposed to be faught yet, crits, knocks down, kills. Was finished off by falling damage.

    It seemed the only time the dice let them hit worth anything was when they were trying to shot something they shouldn't really have been able to. But everything they should have hit was nearly impossible to do so.

  60. My family has 'you're on a boat' for failed perceptions, and the group I DM for has an inside joke on one of the players who nat 1'ed an animal handling and slipped off his (unmoving) horse's saddle to faceplant on the ground. The joke's lived for years, and will probably live years more.

  61. I had a friend in one my first dnd campains ever who played a paladin and only paladins and never used common sense so everytime he had to reroll a paladin regardless of his name we called him "Bait".

  62. Yes I have, my first session ever in a prison escape campaign. We are all introduced to our home for the time being, the Hellforge Prison my character a Hal-elf sorcerer is put on KP duty while my future great friends explore the open courtyard area we were all forced into by the Biomechanical guards the Servetors while I try to pluck feathers from a native bird whos feathers are pure razor sharp adamantine. A bad roll sets my character Ivor struggling with even getting a good grip on said feathers with everyone in the kitchen chuckling and pointing at my futile efforts, in a attempt to show a little bravado I ask my DM if I can make a deception roll to convince them it is all a act and I am not just a weak little punk (Keep in mind the whole time we have been at the Forge as we call it we have magic nullification collars on so even as a lv. 5 sorcerer all magic is null and void till I got it off.).

    Well my DM gives me the go ahead and I roll a 4, so my act of bravado becomes a comedy scene from a cartoon as I walk over to the table, turn around with a determined face and grab the Feather Tongs. The feather pops loose, curls down swiftly and plants the tip in the flesh of my Knee. I immediately scream in character to my group "It's in the bone, it's in the bone! whimpering it's in the bone!" at that moment our barbarian Eel Mermaid by the name of Sif pops her head in and at the top of her lungs (and maybe her gills too) "Who hurt the tiny man?!" and trust me compared to Sif most full blood elves would be tiny people so my 4 feet 8 and a half inch tall frame is very tiny. She made a lasting impression on Ivor that day and is one of my most trusted allies on the escape we are currently on alongside the other PCs and the NPCs. Also just FYI Ivor is not smitten by Sif (Especially since she has made it clear she likes strong women) no Ivor has more of a brotherly respect for her so don't draw the wrong idea, Ivor has seen what happens to those who hit on her and are not welcome to and let us just say Ivor likes to keep his teeth.

    Needless to say this wasn't my only mistake with the word Feather involved as during our escape I being of the Inventor background am able to drive one of the APCs of the prison out of the garage bay, only to find we have a fifty foot drop right out the door at the very last moment I cast Feather Fall and for once rolled high enough to save the APC and all my teammates if only just barley, I imagine the bounce we made looked like the Mako from Mass Effect hitting the ground after a jump jet.

  63. lol The girlfriend's fighter in the lost mines campaign was the same way it was a rouge the did all the damage via sneak attacks

  64. So, one campaign I’m in is based off the concept of monster girls…I’m pretty sure you get the idea. One of our bards (we had a big party) was a raiju—basically a Japanese lightning wolf, and she was an absolute thot. You wanna know how much of a thot she was? She had proficiency on seduction rolls. Legit, that was a thing. And she used seduction on EVERYTHING. What started as the DM going “sure, why the hell not” when our bard successfully seduced a locked door into opening quickly devolved into madness. Sparky’s seduction was the new Wizard’s Fireball.
    It was so frustrating for our DM that he started designing encounters that literally made the enemies impossible to charm. However, in the first encounter he tried doing this, charming the enemy was just extremely hard. We were fighting two legendary succubus sisters, Lilith and Lilim. To seduce them, our raiju bard would have to roll a 28 or higher on seduction. And what does she do on the first turn? Roll for seduction. What does she get? Nat 20, making a 28 in total. Our DM just sighed in frustration as the entire party laughed. Our bard had just immediately ended this boss fight.
    Throughout the campaign, we’ve constantly been joking that by the end of the campaign, the raiju bard will have become some Goddess of Lust bent on corrupting the world into degeneracy 😂

Related Post